Friday, 27 August 2010

Day 8... Laaaate...

Ok so ... short term goals this month and whyyyyy.

  1. Continue on Health... Why? To stop being such a fat shit. I started and then I had a mental breakdown and because I have no will power and I am rubbish I ate loads. And I felt guilty but I still couldnt stop. Why is it that even though you know that being such a fat loser is one of the reasons which is making you so depressed and you do realise that if you werent such a fat shit maybe the boy wouldnt be so embarrassed that you still EAT.ALL.THE.FOOD. Im generally disgusting. So yeah to stop eating crap.
  2. To stop smoking. Now I have been very good at that in the past and I am still no way smoking as much as I used to. But I am still having a cheeky few. In my demented brain i think it helps me when I am sad or annoyed or what have you... Im not thick enough to actually think that it does, but at the time is a different matter.
  3. To go on little day trips to places. Work has stopped being so nuts so I am off for the week. I am supposed to be going on little day trips at the start of the week... with Lar... but as I type this she has just text me to say she cant. So what a waste of fucking time this holiday was,
  4. To sort myself out financially. I am rubbish with money and I actually have less than none. Picto is trying to train me to not spend and to budget. He is making me relinquish my debit and credit cards.
  5. To try to let go of the boy. Because it hurts to half have him. How is one supposed to do this when he is your best friend. And how is one to do this when one has the mentality of " I would rather have a little bit than not at all". I really am letting myself down arent i.
  6. Being as I have nowhere to go now... Maybe I will give spring cleaning the house a go. I really want it to be nice and at the moment. Its like a frickin hovel.

I cant think of any more goals as of yet...

Cheers beers. xx

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