Its thursday which basically means its the weekend because Friday's dont count... even though they are my busy day... but still.
I am so bored. Literally so bored I could die. And I am totally on edge because I have to have a talk with the boy tonight. So whatever I do have to do, work-wise, I dont want to do because its boring today and not keeping my mind busy.
Uh I hate feeling like this. But things like this have been going on for ages and I suppose it cant go on forever. Its either gonna hurt like hell now or hurt like hell in the future. So maybe... like a plaster I should rip it off now?
Hmmmm.
I dont want to. I wish he'd just accept me for who I am and love me loads and be happy and laugh with me. Not be afraid of what other people will think or how things will end up.
It makes me a wee bit paranoid. I fear hes embarrassed. He says hes not but when he freaks out about everything I dont see what else it can be.
Its making me feel like shit and become a paranoid mess, and I dont like it. So I guess I am trying to save myself?
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My week is going really well, and I'm enjoying relaxing and being on summer vacation.
ReplyDeleteI wish you lots of luck in talking with "the boy" and I hope everything works out for the best. You deserve to be treated well and to feel good about yourself. Do whatever you have to do to make sure that happens!