Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Day 24...

Day 24... A Letter To Your Parents...

Yo Martin. Yo Sue.

I would like to say that as much as I was an asshole when I was growing up... (You know...I think it was around the year 7/8/9 era of school...When basically I didnt want to do much except hang out with my mates and be a dick. And you were a bit strict and in return I was more of an asshole) ... that basically thanks to you... I'm not really that much of an asshole as an adult...

I would like to apologise for...
The time I skived off school... (I think in year 10...) to go with my mates to Tim Chins house and we drank all his mums bacardi neat and then I went back to school to have band practice and I was blatantly drunk and Burt threw up in a bush... when they called you to fetch me because they thought I was on some kind of crack or something (oh just to put you straight... I was not... and I thought Mr Morgan was an a.hole for even making you think that maybe I was).

The time I got stoned with Joe before Christmas dinner and then dropped the wine bottle on my plate and smashed it. Then ate all the Quality Street....

The time I drove into that parked car in the car park at work because I was late and in a rush, and quite blatantly was retarded at parking, and you had to pay for the damage...

For all the instances where as I child it was as if i could puke on demand in all the most inconvenient of places... Entrance to supermarket, entrance to tent on camping holiday, on people, on stairs in our house, in my own bed....

The time I drank the whole bottle of Calpol... (Lets face facts... you'd do it too. Even now. It just tastes. that. good.)

The time I tried to jump from the upstairs window with an umbrella to see if I floated like Mary Poppins...

Yeah I apologise for all that. But funnily enough. We're pretty cool now. I love you, other people love you and my friends love you. Because you really are... just. that. cool.

You have got a trendy bar in this shit hole town and now you have a super cool music venue too.

Mum, the boy loves you more than he loves me. Dad, the boy loves you more than he loves me.

Haaha. And do you know what... I dont even mind. Because thats cool.

I apologise for when I am a grump. Thats mainly to you Sue, because I am the same as Dad so you have to put up with two of us.

I would like to thank you for having me. And being the coolest parents I know. And also for having Joe. Because to be quite fair to you. I think we are the coolest family I know.

Thanks. Yeah.
Cheers Now!

Ps. Thanks for making me like the music I like today.

Bruce Springsteen. Neil Young. Tina Turner. Fairground Attraction. Guns n Roses. Janis Joplin.

Variety is the spice of life.


  1. Christmas chez Lavender sounds the best ...xx

  2. i remember apologizing to my parents in my 20's for how much of a shithead i was in my teens. i am kind of hoping all kids do that. poor parents! they go through so much, but at least they and we get some good stories out of it! :)