Heavy Metal Delight....

So hopefully the insurance people are sending me and Lar a cheque to cover all the bits we lost in the 'Great Robbery of 2010'. Well. They say this. They also say they sent it first class post last Wednesday but we are yet to receive it.

So I haven't decided where my loathe lies yet. Royal Mail or the insurers. Id like to say I have faith in the Royal Mail and it couldn't possibly be them. It is the Queens service after all. But I have a feeling if I actually said that out loud I would have to eat my words and then yeah. I hate eating my words.

But I am depending on that cheque a little too much really. My phone has been cut off. Yea readers. That's how bad it is, it wasn't even that much of a bill. But it was slightly more than normal due to being in Miami for a bit and being an avid texter. What are normally all inclusive text messages then turn into 40p a message text messages and then you realise you are a bit screwed. But yes, I digress, it went out the bank at the end of the month when there's no money there and ding! returned payment and no other money. Therefore I now no longer have the phone or the Internet. I feel like a social leper.

Orange phone company. I was gonna send you cakes. I retract my cakes now. HA.

I also have a parking ticket. But the boy is gonna pay that for me. Its my own fault really carelessly parking with my back wheels not quite in the lines. Parking Nazis.

I should always stick to my motto. If its in the lines its fine. Even if its on the wonk. Or really close to the line or, you know, upside down. As long as its in the lines its fine.

It was late, the road was empty. I didn't think the parking Nazi would be out in the bleak mid winter at 10pm down a back street on a Friday. My error.

But apart from that. Everything is gravy. Back to Miami on Saturday. Niceeee. Only for a couple of days mind but I don't mind. I will go anywhere!

Friday night I thought I would be good and stay in and have a bath and a relax but I couldn't relax. So I went to see Kam. We decided as the boys were out being boys we would have a little drink and play rockband. Thant turned into competing hard core on rockband and downing shots of tequila when we thought we had played bad ass and deserved it hahah. The boys came home and it all went to pot. Apparently we weren't that good to the everyday onlooker. Well we liked it so what?! Haha.

I was supposed to get up Saturday morning to go to hot yoga at 10am. Instead....I stayed in bed. Had some toast. Much more appetising than sweating out tequila in a room full of bears disguised as men in speedos.

Saturday I was good. Went to Soundhouse to watch Dethonator. If you like a bit of metal. Check these guys. I think they are the most awesome thing to come out of Leicester. At first I was biased as I used to be good pals with the drummer but I am hooked. They truly are awesome and Jim the singer is immense. I have never seen someone hold notes as sick as he does live.

Oh and also!Karl Phillips & The Midnight Ramblers. Also siiiiiick.

They are a weird one but I defy you to catch these guys live and not want to get in on it. They are like a hip hop band. Karl Phillips kills it and then they smash it on the instruments. Truly talented. You know when you watch something and it just looks so easy. Its like that. It looks easy, it looks fun. To be honest. I just wanted to be in the band.



ANYWAY.... off on a tangent. I didn't drink. I baked. I got loads of pics to put on here but, again waiting for the cheque, so I can replace my little laptop of dreams and get my photos out there.

There are some cracking bits I have been doing and its Christmas again so the cute shit is gonna come out!


Then Sunday got up early had a run and then made a roast with Kam for when the boys got back from football. It mostly went good. The yorkshires went a bit wrong. We didn't have a bun tin so we used cupcake cases and that didn't work. Also. I don't think the oven was hot enough hahah. SO the boy saved the day with a quick jog round to the spar and a bag of Aunt Bessies under one arm. Picto and him also brought dessert. I think I fell in love last night. Properly. When the boy dished out choc fudge cake and flake ice cream, in man portions.

We then played rockband til our eyes fell out. If I never hear Painkiller by Judas Priest again I will be a happy girl.


And she goes to bed happy. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

I've been robbed...

By a little old lady on a motorised cart....
- Dumb & Dumber....

But no. My house was actually robbed. and amongst other things my laptop was thieved.

So posting is hard. and few and far between.

Sorry.

How rubbish xx

Is anyone out there....?

England (well Leicester...) is killing me.

How many readers do I have??? 75? If everyone put £10 into a charity pot for me... I may well be able to take a trip somewhere or at least buy myself something pretty. I am so down and feel like I cannot get out of this hole. I just want to be away. AWAY I TELLS YA.

How many people read this? I'm sorry if you are one of the unfortunate that do. I used to be funny. Now look at me ahahah.

Help. Help. Help.

HELP.

It's late in the night...

And I can't sleep.

Boo.

Thought maybe I should take this chance to blog about whats gone on in the past couple of weeks. Nothing major really. Mostly work. But a few bits. I hope I don't bore you. I really don't have the energy to write but I feel bad for not writing. It's so weird how this blogging thing gets a hold on you hey.

First of all I will report that right now I feel disgusting. Basically I am ill from work and I have just been stressing about my backlog and blah blah because it is my busiest time. I went in this morning because I physically couldn't stand it and I think it was making me feel worse and it didn't seem like I had that much to do and I managed to delegate some stuff to my friend Alicia who is temping to help out the other girls and they didn't have much for her to do. I felt bad for dumping stuff on her but it kinda lifted the pressure on me a wee bit. And I have a sore throat. Sunday and Monday I had chills. Today oh look! A cold sore. On my lip. Basically, that was the final straw. I burst into tears and that was the end of me for the day. I went home. The bus from work fucked me over. I ended up having to walk for ages to get home because I got dropped by the train station. I am skint. So managed to scab £5 off my brother and went to the shop. Brought junk food and ate it ALL. And I feel like a dirty tramp. If my throat wasn't killing like it is, and I hadn't have had a bad experience with trying to make myself sick when I thought I had eaten a wrong frozen meal, I would have tried to have thrown it all up. That's how disgusting I feel. I feel like a big fat ugly blob of doom. And I text the boy to say I was sobbing on a bus and I needed cheering and he didn't text me for like 4 hours and then when he did said he wasn't going to cheer because he had been in interviews all afternoon so wasn't in the mood. Thanks. Sometimes I do wonder what on earth I expect.

Last weekend was the boys Sunday night football team award evening. Which was just a silly little get together that involved drinking cake and silly awards. The boys always do these awards at the end of each season which only lasts about 1 month (haha) then they get together and have dinner and then meet us girls out for drinks and they give out awards to each other. But this time Kam, Sav & I decided that we would do our own set of silly awards and we made rosettes for each winner. It was a lot of fun, even when halfway through making the rosettes we wanted to give up because they were taking so long, but the look on the boy's faces was worth it. And we were proud of the end product!



They were them. We ended up making ten of them...phewwww. Took LONGGGG.

It was a lovely evening and we ended up staying in mums bar til late and when it was just the Boy, Darran, Nuj, Kam & I the boys had one of their "wrestling matches" the kind they used to have back in the day when we always stayed out late in the bar when I worked there, the kind that have me and Kam in stitches of laughter and it was so much fun. Then we went home.

Saturday Laura's birthday in John and Sav's garden. The weather was nice which was a change and it was nice to mingle around drink appletinis and eat pringles. Then we went inside when it got cooler and watches silly things on you tube featuring Brian Blessed. Who the boys LOVE. He makes anything funny just with his laugh!

Watch this episode of Henry 8.0 its only mini.

Then I went home with the boy and had a sleepover which was nice. Went to sleep laaaate. And was woken up by my friend Mark calling to remind me he was coming to get me so we could take Brodie out for the afternoon! What?! Oh no. I am hungover and tired. OK fine. Went to the countryside and looked at a model village. We were going to go to Wistow Maze but we fucked up a bit because it hadn't even grown yet and wasn't open until the end of July haha. So we took her to the pub for some lunch. I wasn't eating and decided to go meet Kam Darran & the Boy for a roast at the Old Horse and I thought I would walk there and in my hungover tired state I thought i was only 15 mins away as it was a straight road from where I was. Shame I didn't click on how long it was. I reckon if Darran hadn't have been so kind as to have rescued me I would have been walking for a good hour maybe 2. And my converse shoe had started to rub on my heel.

ANYWAY.

Watched the cricket later on. England beat Australia to win the 20/20 World Cup. So that was pretty awesome. Then went to the football with the boy and they lost. Boo. Then came home to watch lost. I watched last weeks and this weeks. I cried when I watched last weeks. I actually sobbed. I guess we are probably behind a wee bit on America but it was the one where the gang get on the sub. Well if you watch it you know how it ends. I felt utterly sad and depressed. So the boy made me beef and mushroom noodles and I remembered why I think hes awesome. Still feeling ill at this point wearing a jumper a jacket and a scarf in the house drinking tea.

And then couldn't speak when I woke up on Monday. So that's that. I can't remember any further back than that? I don't think anything of interest happened?

Oh. Lar is back from the states. She brought me back Victoria's Secrets pants with a cupcake on, and some magnets from Hollywood and Vegas for my international fridge magnet collection.

If anyone would like to contribute to my international fridge magnet collection, feel free.

If anyone lives in the USA and would like to purchase THESE BEAUTIES and send them to me because they only ship to the USA. Gab has a picture of her in them and I cannot believe she didn't buy them!! I collect sunnies and these are frickin fab! Even if you don't want to send them to me out of the goodness of your heart... Just go look and do yourself a favour and purchase them for yourself and spread some happiness about your city!

Might leave this post here and maybe start a new one with some cakes on it...

Just so you know. An advertisement just came on the TV for the penultimate episode of Lost on Friday. It was all dramatic. I truly and honestly do not know what I will do when it ends. What will happen to Sundays? (we record it save it and all get together Sunday after the football and watch it) We will have to life in normal society again. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Why is Blogger so WEIRD.

I have just published my posts I did at home the other day and saved to publish at a later date when I had better things to write/more time etc. But Blogger will only "backdate" publish. It publishes them to the day you saved them first.

Is it only me that thinks this is rubbish? Now nothing is in order. And you can't change it. Or can you and I am just being thick!?

So scroll down a wee bit. Cuz there's about 4 cool posts you will be missing from SUNDAY 25th APRIL. which to be honest I wanted to be dated today.

GAY.

Things I have done...# 1

I took part in a mix CD swap on Tiffany's blog. for fun... I have never done anything like this before... so it was pretty cool. I sent mine to Claire. I hope she likes it. To be fair. I didnt realise when you had to get it to your swap partner for and I was super busy so I used Lar's Itunes and took some cool songs off there. I would have liked to have given it more time and gone through my CD collection and put the tracks on the computer but alas. I am rubbish and always late with everything.

THEN! When I had rushed to get it ready and made the cover all pretty I realised I was supposed to do two! But that was kinda good because I had found more songs than I loved than I could fit on the first one... but I had no case for the CD so had to make it out of an envelope etc. Didnt get a picture of that... AND THENNNNN! As I had rushed and finally got two masterpieces together I went to send them from the post office by Airmail. Only to be told by the grumpy lady in there.

Lady: Airmail. Hmph. Dunno when it will get there.

No bloody planes flying.

From that there Volcano ash.

Me: Look lady!

Just put it in your post bag.

Its not like youre gonna put all the airmail

post in a bag and just forget about it and find it years

later and be featured in the local paper for returning mail

to its rightful owners 12 years after they should have got it.

Just take it.

Put it in your airmail bag.

And then it will go when everything is de-volcanoised.

Don't think I am taking it back with me to save

until I think its safe for it to go on a plane.

JUST TAKE IT.

Dont you give me the evil eye.

I see you.

I seeeeeeee you.

I hope you like it Claire. I can never be sure. But who can when youre sending music to someone you dont know hey?

Dulverton Palace

Remember how I have moved house and blah blah blah.

Well. When we moved, like you do when you're a nice law abiding citizen etc, we cleaned the old house top to toe to make sure we didn't get rinsed by the Estate agent and lose our deposits etc.

Now. There is no love lost between me and my housemates and the shits that are Kingswood. (in case you are thinking of renting through them... I wouldn't bother...) They are a bunch of useless fecks that have never once helped us with anything.

You know ringing them to say the toilet is leaking. No one ever came to fix it.

Hello Kingswood... the shower only runs just off cold. Its the coldest winter Britain has seen in time. Can you help? No one ever helped. About 16 calls later they send a man. Yeah I cant believe you have been showering in that. That's a disgrace. It must be your boiler. I will talk to your agents and get them to send a boiler man.

Never. To. Be. Seen.

Kept calling. In the end just gave up and thought fuck it. And moved out.

So imagine my dismay when yesterday, in quite a chipper giggly mood despite having not even 3 hours sleep I receive this on email from my housemate who has scanned it in so I could see it knowing fore well I would hit the roof....

OH MY GOD.

Such C****. (Sorry. But to be fair sometimes that word is called for.)

Obviously you readers don't know the ins and outs of our inventory or the state of the house or really what we're like but I would just like to say.... in case you are bothered....

I never once slept on that mattress in my room. The front room. I brought my own.
The marks on the top of the fireplace and stuff are all on the inventory.
We cleaned the floors and skirting when we left. WITH MOPS. Let alone just swept.
The tiles were all loose when we moved in. Old fashioned tiled hallway. On inventory.
We have a letter from them saying its OK to replace the green sofas as long as we leave the new ones(red ones) the old ones were disgusting.
The dining table the landlords sister came and took. The chairs that were around it were in the kitchen. The one he said was left outside was already out there.
There's no rubbish under the stairs. Whatever is in there is what was already there.
The bulbs in the kitchen weren't all working in the first place. I remember asking my dad to put new ones in because they were so high up and he said it'd be cheaper to not bother. Cuz they're halogen down lighter things and I think there were about 20.

The mark on the ceiling in my room is from when it rained loads and the roof leaked so I rang them and they sent their man around. and he sprayed this stuff on it and he it looked a bit er...grey? and he said he could re paint the whole room but that would be a pain and asked if I was bothered that there was a mark and I said no. So he said he would just leave it.
Why would we cover an air vent? There should be no scuffs really and definitely no blu tack marks because no one was in that room!?It was spare.
Cobwebs? You get done for cobwebs these days!?!!
The bathroom the floor is wood painted white and we have been there for 2 years and it started to peel where you got out the bath. It was also worn around the loo where the loo was leaking and I had rang and rang for them to fix and they didn't so Dad put sealant round it and it didn't work.

Obviously cleaned all the bathroom before leaving.
No rubbish in the front garden!?? back garden a bit weedy but you know.
Zod cleaned out both fridges washed insides and took out all shelves and stuff and washed. Washed the drawers in the freezer.
I even cleaned all the extractor thing (which wasn't cleaned when we moved in) so they can swivel if they say the kitchen wasn't cleaned.

Oh my. Its made me so mad. Why do estate agents always try to rob you when it comes to your deposit. Is this how they make their money on rentals because in my experience it bloody well seems so. Like Lar said really, if you think about it, you may as well not bother with cleaning or removing shit you don't want when you leave the property because they always do this. I know its money and we need it because we are in no way minted but for the hassle you go through to make sure everything is in order like they ask you.

Bring it on Kingswood. I'm ready for a fight.

Hmph. Boo. Hmph. Meh

Do you ever feel like you want something so bad and you will explode if you don't get it. But you can't have it? And it feels like youre on fire inside your tummy and not in a good way. I feel like that now.

I feel horrible. Truely horrible. On edge with bad butterflies. I love good butterflies. I truly hate bad butterflies.

I wonder if it is just me? Do normal people just think... I can't have it so just don't worry about it. I don't know why I don't have that mentality.

I put myself out there yesterday. I got shot down. I feel like I just want to hide under a rock. You should never run away right... but I just want to be anywhere but here.

"...Because there's nothing that I wouldn't do to hold on to you
but you give me nothing to hold on to." -
When All Else Fails, It Fails - The Ataris

Yesterday...

I was in London for work yesterday so I didnt get to blog my daily thought comic...

I was gonna post two again today like last week but i think I will save it instead.

I'm in a moood today. I was in a mood last night. I feel like I've been in a mood for over a week.

I tried to make a couple of cheap ass little bookcases last night. Dont buy argos value book cases. They are shite. You try to screw the nail in and the wood splits so I have two shit book cases in my room. You cant really tell from a distance. But then again you cant really get that much of a distance from them in my little room.

I was trying to talk to the boy because I needed cheering and normally just seeing his lovely face does just that but he was just an a. hole and made me cry. Good one dickhead.

Sick of everything right now. Got cakes to do tonight and a music quiz to attend. Too much to do too little time.

Sorrrrry for the moan. Cheer me!

Mood

I cannot get my photos to upload from my phone. The Samsung programme that is installed on this computer is being wanky and will not believe that they havent been uploaded before. WTF!?!? Lies. I took some of them today. I hateeeeee computers.

Boo.

Well I guess I won't be going to see my two boyfriends perform. Due to all the gigs either being a. sold out. Or b. So ridiculously expensive its a joke.

Normally they would, you know, give me tickets but I told them that you dont make any money giving stuff away for free and thats how we play it.

Oh Bret. Oh Jermaine. Next time. Next time....

Oooooooooo...

Beautiful spring day today. Cold and sunny. My favourite.

Took all our stuff to a car boot yesterday. Was up at 5.30am. Considering I hadnt gone to bed until 3.30am I didnt think I was doing too bad. (I hadnt been drinking...But I was home a lot later than thought...) I looked like some sort of zombie but I was "surprisingly perky" in the words of Zod. We drove all the way to Hinckley at the crack of dawn only to find it wasnt on. Maybe we should have checked before... but armed with a big can of redbull and a bakewell flapjack we set off for Melton Mowbray instead. SO it was about 15 miles to Hinckley and then 32 miles from there to Melton. Silly and the weather was bobbins. BUT we made it and then the vultures got us.

Picture the scene... Little Zod is trying to struggling a big box of books to the table and some bloke is tryin to root through the box... "Ya got aneh records..?" No I dont have any fucking records get your hand out my box before I snap it off.

All in all a successful morning £55 made. Only half the stuff gone. So we plan to do another one outdoors when the weather is better. ONE THING. Someone stole. SOMEONE.STOLE.FROM.A.CHEAP.ASS.CAR.BOOT.SALE.

I got a bag for Christmas. It was a mischa barton bag. and it was nice. a big oversized thing grey and silver. Not my cup of tea and I am getting rid of everything for the new house so I thought yeh that can go... (sorry auntie helen... dont be offended everything I sold was given to me by someone... Zod - "Hey! Isnt that that notecard set I got you for your birthday?" Er......) And there was a big box of my handbags at the front of the table. And as Gab was putting them all in the bag I saw there was a wee bit of parcel tape stuck to the bottom of said bag... I remember thinking oh I will go and get that off, but forgot... Also in the box was a big black bag that had tiny silver skull and crossbones on it... Some young girl said "how much is this" holding up a wee shocking pink sholder bag... 50p love... "hmmm" and she put it down and THEN! I clock her putting the skull bag on her shoulder and walking off. ZOD!!!! GET HER!!! cue Zod chasing the girl..."er excuse me...you havent paid..." "Oh *look of fake confusion* sorry I didnt know" and just handed it back and walked off! LIAR.

And then some other woman held up some butterfly bag... "how much" £1. puts it back (quite busy at this point speaking to other customers.) makes a big song and dance about some soaps and wanting to buy all of them for about 10p. And then she goes. Only to walk back past a little later and have another rummage in the bag box before walking off. As she walks up I think hmmm she has a bag the same as my silver mischa barton bag. How much of a coincidence is that?? Turns to the side a little bit and I clock the parcel tape attached to the bottom. Shes knicked my bag. The thieving bitch!!

Just so you know. She was gone before we had chance to say owt and I truly believe she only walked past to flaunt that fact that she had stolen and got away with it. I now think I dont care that I didnt get to try and strangle her with the bag handle because I have risen above it and think that it must be a sad life to lead when you resort to stealing a £1 bargain handbag from a carboot sale. I hope you accidently set on fire you cheap cow.

It made me really mad and have sort of lost the love for the carboot tradition. If this is what happens now. It didnt when I was a kid and we used to go do it with my Nana.

ANYWAY. Went to Kaffir pub for the best sunday roast around using the money we had earnt and then proceeded to want to die. We were gonna stay in the pub for Carling cup final (come on United!!) but I couldnt stay awake so drove home and dropped Zod and Lar off at another pub so they could watch it. I came home and napped for an hour before proceeding round to the boys house to take them to sunday night football. Boy is in a good mood because United won the Cup (yay!) and then they lost the football to a bunch of divs. Sometimes I stand there is the baltic weather and I promise myself that I am gonna stop coming to watch them lose to even shitter teams. But I am always there come rain or shine.

Wish I had quit going to that rather than quit choc for lent. I'm an idiot.

Came back, signed contract for the house, got the keys, went back to the boys watched old school family fortunes ( I love family fortune sunday...its my favourite), Lost (Oh Lost...Light of my lifeee) and Match of the Day....

Finally to sleep only to feel like I had been asleep for 5 minutes before the alarm went off and the week started again.

I need a REST.

That was sunday.

(Friday and sat went a bit like this;

Friday: got absolutely battered on vodka at Darrans playing Rock band. Boy had to walk me home at 4.45am inanely chattering while I could only think in my head...theres no need to puke...dont you puke...noone likes a puker... and he wonders why I dont pay attention.

Saturday: Ma coloured my roots. They were so bad I looked bald - my hair is red naturally, I colour it dark brown and dont recolour as often as I should therefore owning a lot of headscarves to cover my "baldness". Went to Pictos. Chilled. Went out to pubs. No drinking. Saw friends. Went to a pub I hate but only cuz its the latest opening. Had a giant panic attack. Boy was druuuunk. Walked home. Went to Ma's bar on the way home where boy proceeded to tell Ma and Dad how much he loved them. He loves them more than me. Hahaha. Had a vodka and ginger ale as a night cap went home to bed for 5 minutes sleep. Ta da.)

There you go. You're up to date.

Inspiration-less

Oh me. Oh my.

I have nothing to do at work. Literally nothing. I sit and wait for someone to update their blog. Or looking for new blogs. Or just staring. Or you know seeing how much water I can drink in an hour. Or going on walks. Or reading magazines or generally just umming and ahhing and making up tunes in my mouth. (most people here probably think I'm a bit mental) BUT. my friend Picto keeps saying draw comics. AND I SHOULD! but... the problem lies with me being lazy and doing nothing is proving able to make me more lazy. People have asked for comics and they have given me titles but I have no inspiration. None. NADA.

That's bad isn't it. Oh boo. I've lost the will to draw little story board comics. I am lame.

But then as I was sat here pondering google images (type in "dogs in costume" it'll make for a fun day) and I thought I know! (LIGHT BULB!) I'm gonna do a series for the blog... everyone else is doing it... I wanna be in with the cool kids... So my series is Thought of the Day Comics not really a series like everyone else has but hey create your own steeze eh.

So at points in the day when I'm either thinking or mid conversation. I get that "oooh feeling" a feeling I get when I think I can draw that!!! Oh the inspiration is backkkk.

Well. Wait til the comics come. First. hahahah. I'm gonna start them next week I reckon. Well. I have started them already but being as I have to give them to picto to scan and email to me until we get to the new house and actually get Internet and I can set up my little scanny thing they will be thoughts of the day just a week too late. Only you wont know that... Because you didn't think that... Oh but you will now. Cuz I just told. Oh. Never mind. Don't hold it against me hahahah.

Cool ass blogs that I like to read that have little series... Go look... You won't regret it. I love seeing what these guys have to say.... Not all of them... But you know... A few...

Love and Happiness
For Real People in Love.
My Teacups in Peony
Here you will find... Love Stories and Feet Around the World.
White Rabbit
This blog is cool as. I like everything but the Photo of the Day makes me laugh.
Bacwoods Fern
This laydee has Two Things I Love Around My Home.
Much Love
Can't go wring with Much Love Monday its sweet.
The Little Things We Do
I like Fill In The Blanks Friday... I'm not technical enough to know how to do it myself...
Sometimes Sweet
Tattoo Tuesday. Some awesome artwork. Puts mine to shame!

Oh and I love love LOVE Droll Girl

To be fair I think all the blogs that are on my reading list are cool. So check them out when you got a sec. They're all so lovely and pretty. Mine is basic and shit. I don't know how you make them all fancy. Someone take a trip to me and teach me!! It took me about 3 months to learn how to "make a link a word" thank you google. I owe you one.

Making more cupcakes tonight. A birthday order and tester cakes for the wedding I am doing in June. SO she can get an idea of what I am going for with the decoration. I'm not massively sure myself. Again for some reason Valentines seems to have sucked dry all my inspiration and enthusiasm and now I'm like errrrr... But I am hoping it comes to me later!

Meeting the boy after work for a quick drink ( he quit drink for lent... and then promptly gave up a week later. These Irish hey... Ah well hes still lenting the takeaway.) then on to the new house with Gablar to sign up! The reference checks are all clear in Joel's own words... "We are all systems go!" Thanks Joel (the nice man the house belongs to) So excited... slightly sad... but still good!

PS. The boy told me he secretly did appreciate the book I made him. *swoooon*

blaaaaaah

Its snowing. It doesn't look like its lying though.

The boy is coming to tea tonight and we're going to some thing beforehand... Some arty thing. Richard Peel. To be exact

http://www.richardpeel.com/

I haven't witnessed him before but the boy really likes him.

Do you have those days when you just feel like shit? My hair looks like shit. My face looks like shit. What I am wearing is shit. Well for your information that day is TODAY.

Today I look akin to a HOBO.

Although... That said... I'm totally excited for the new house. Oh its a beauty!

Do people actually read this? I write so much bobbins. If you do read this. Do comment and say. I don't mind typing to no one... but I did wonder. hahah xxx

I think I spoke to soon...

You know how I pondered how I wasn't dead yet? Well today I feel as though I'm on my way. Bunged up to the eyeballs.

Up til late with the cupcakes. Hanging out with them... Doing my thing. They look pretty though so thats the important part.

This damned cold. Its doing it to me on purpose. It knows I was excited for the weekend and busy with the cakes and it thought oh yeah I know I'm gonna hit you hard. HA.

Well cheers cold. You suck.

(You've already won by making me personify you, you shit.)

A nice lady called Liz sent me some Camomile, vanilla and honey tea to relax me. So I think I should really drink it. I havent got time to relax at the mo though. But as soon as I do.... I'm on it.

Boy is full of cold too. Shame. I'm glad.

Not my favourite person right now.

I'm in a mood. Can you tell?

Do anticipate cupcake photos at some point. They will be cool! xxx

Wednesday wonderingsss...

Its Wednesday... I'm off on half day from work to make some bits and bobs for this weekends impending cupcake orders...

I have lots to keep me busy.

I was just thinking (because work is well quiet right now) that its pretty cool that I made so many cakes the original kenwood blew up. I don't think I have EVER used anything so much it broke? Maybe I will have a word with the parents and see whether I did as a child. It's my own fault... I get bored quickly and move on haha.

A mad weekend ahead with partying not just cakes. Its a wonder I haven't died yet. I must be a prime example of burning the candle at both ends. Apparently Thursday, Friday and Saturday night madness... Oh and also what I like to call "Lost Sundays" where we all group together and watch Friday nights Lost that has been Sky Plussed. OH LOST. How I love you.

And James Sawyer. You... You.... You.

(stolen from buddytv.com)

Oh and its Valentines. And I made the boy a little thing he will not appreciate in the slightest. Cuz sometimes he is a bit of a shit. Good times. Ha.

Time for Positive Thinking????

I'm not trying to bring everybody down. I am a really bubbly person and it takes something out of the ordinary to knock me down, so please bear with me while I get a grip!! Feel free to leave kind words of encouragement/wisdom/funniness etc.

But just so you know I am trying...

I went and had a read of this beautiful lady's blog earlier and her latest post grabbed my attention and made me feel a bit better. Her blog is so lovely and nice and always gets me thinking.... Thanks for that...

Aubrey's Lovely Blog

Mushroom soup at work is not nice....

I am being super healthy at the moment... and by super healthy I just mean I am trying to not eat the world...or my feelings... so I am being healthy. In our house we say "we're on health". And we dont do things by halves. Normally we count calorie of everything going, eat only vegetables and the odd bit of prawn or chicken, do exercise, join gyms, buy a wii fit board, watch diet programmes. But I am in it for the long haul this time. I am still doing all of the above... minus the only vegetables thing...because lets be fair noone can go on like that. Although a bonus to me is that I love love love veg, especially anything green, so I can eat a tonne of it. But I am making healthy things like veg in tomato sauce with brown rice and things and eating a breakfast of ryvita and philli light and eating soup for lunch that kind of thing. I have the odd slip up here and there but I am trying to train myself to not see this a complete failure and eat a whole cake but to simply say "oh no you've eaten 27 biscuits... you must now not even so much as look at a biscuit for 7 days!" You know, that kind of thing hahah.

AND! I have not had a chocolate bar for a WEEK! (bear in mind I did have one of Rachels guinness chocolate cupcakes mentioned below... but still its not a chocolate bar... and for those that dont know me THAT my friends is what keeps me alive!) SO a week for me is proper hardcore. I let the boy know last night that I had not had any chocolate and he congratulated me. Then I told him I also thought I was falling apart inside body and mind because of this fact and that I didnt think I could go on... so he kindly said that tonight he would have a chocolate bar and give me 2 squares. AND its GOLDEN CRISP. AND its his last one! Thats the kind of boy he is. Nice and thoughtful. WHEN HE WANTS TO BE. (there are times when he can be such a nob, but thats by the by and I think hes awesome anyway... flaws included.)

ANYWAY... I digress... so I'm on soup again today although I can smell everyones food in the office and someone had a chip bap and the chips smelt so good and she had mayo and cheese on the chips... BUT I stayed strong and I avoided the canteen and went to the coffee shop instead for soup and a roll. And it was mushroom soup and I LOVE LOVE LOVE mushrooms... so much so that my friend Mark calls me a mushroom perve... but then again he cant stand mushrooms and he calls anyone that eats so much as one a mushroom perve... but its HORRIBLE. And I am not a picky picky eater. But I cannot stomach it. Its fresh and its blended. But not very well. And the only thing that I am picky about if LUMPS. mashed potatoes... lumps? NO TA. I dont know what else comes with lumps... (well apart from NEXT mushroom soup) but I am pretty sure I wouldnt like it. So disappointingly I cannot eat the soup.

So I have been and brought a pack of french fries... only 97 cals dont you know... and a muller cherry yogurt. All set. F. you soup. (sat on the desk taunting me...git)

I am trying to curb my swearing. I am a disgrace. I apologise in advance. I am changing all swears for the first initial. I have decided. Especially around the office. I think people think I am funny a bit but you only need one person who is new and doesnt like it and it can open up a whole can o' worms.

Yesterday I made a big cake... Not a massive cake but a big cake for me... for a girl at work.... And I didnt like it. NOT one little bit. I am nervous about big cakes. They frighten me a bit. I am not comfortable with them. It looked alright (pics to come) but I still felt like it was the enemy. If it had a name it would have been Paul. Even though it was pink. It looked like a paul and was shifty and if it could look it would have been sneering at me. Shooting the evils. I hate Paul.

** I apologise if you are called Paul... or know someone called Paul... or if your dad/brother/uncle is called Paul... Its a generalisation. I dont even know anyone called Paul. Except Paul Daniels... well I dont know him but I think hes a bit weird...**

SO, last night Paul caused me a bit of heartache just because he was being a general s. And the boy also caused me a bit of heartache. Also being a general s. The boy and a cake. A pair of idiots. I bet he's never been compared to a cake before. Well I may have said he's yummy like cake but never compared him to a bad cake. Hmph to the boy.

He was coming for tea and I was making a thing with chicken veg chilli low fat natural yogurt and rice. (He's tryin to be healthy too) to be honest that day I didnt really fancy it but I had said I would make it and I thought he would really like it because he likes spicy. and I had text him in the day to say "you still on for dinner yo!" you know, that kind of thing, but he didnt reply but I didnt think owt of it because sometimes hes with people all day at work and doesnt even look at his phone... BUT ANYWAY... I start stressing because the kitchen is a state and I have to make Paul and I kinda wanna go hang out at the bar and play the quiz with the boy and have dinner and stuff. SO I manage to get out of work half hour early and convince ma to pick me up we drive to the local cooperative stores and purchase ingredients for dinner and then she drops me off. I start tidying and start panicking that I look like s. So I need to do something about that before he comes over etc etc. AND I still have to bake paul.

As I am washing up I think... if the boy texts me and says "can we leave it" I will not be fussed. BUT. At 6pm. 6! SIX. he texts and says in response to my 3pm text... "Oh I forgot, I have pasta sauce that needs eating so gonna have that".

ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Forgive me if I am wrong but this upset me a bit. I'm not irrational. I'm not a permanent a. hole. I'm not one of those clingy girly girls. BUT! have the decency to apologise.

SO I burst into tears (its that time...) and have a little sob whilst washing the pots (I think it was the stress of creating Paul which also contributed to this little outburst) I decide not to text him as I am too mad at the fact that sometimes he is a thoughtless a. hole.

The later I calm down a bit and say "I'm not mad about tonight. I was a bit upset at first but nevermind, Im just saying Im not a monster, If you had just said at any point in the day 'i dont reckon I am up for later' it would have been fine. Don't treat me like an idiot. I'm not mad just a bit meh etc..." there was more but its boring to you out there...

but the point is he text and said he was sorry he was being thoughtless and crap. and he would make it up etc etc. So thats lovely.

**THIS POST IS LONG... SOZ**

So then I made Paul... and in a way wanted to scream at him. But he's done and I will NOT be making a big cake again. NO.

Then I watched fat families, biggest loser & diet tribe with gabby topped off with some SATC reruns and then went to bed happy.

So all is not lost.

If you dont watch fat families. You should do. Google it. Its funny.

OH! Funnier is Lorraine Kellys Big Fat Challenge... With the Chawner family. The huge girl that auditioned for Xfactor - her family. Its truly disgusting. And funny. But only because they are so fat and in no way prepared to even help themselves and just expect to live off benefits because they are too fat to work and they need to fund their junk food diet. Truly disgusting.

Its been ages since I typed about what was happening in my world so I thought I would.

I really enjoy reading everyone elses... not to say that any of you will enjoy reading mine... but least I get to vent I guess.

If you do read and have got this far without falling asleep. MANY MANY thanks. You deserve a medal.

I will send medals.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mehhhh

I am wondering what to do with my life. The boy is doing my head in. He's just too lush. I have been drunk for two days trying to figure out what to do. But I have mostly just been drunk and then forgetting anything I have thought. I spring cleaned the bottom floor of the house, its only a regular house, i make out it has many floors. It does not. It has the normal two floors, and whilst doing that I was thinking about things and decided I need to put my foot down and just stop doing whatever he asks me to do. I wonder really if he really even cares at all and he probably doesnt. Which is a bit depressing. But we must face facts and MAN UP.

I was thinking all of this and then was like yes I will have words and blah blah. Turns out I'm at his now and I have been out and brought him a subway. HAHAHAH. pathetic.

Mood.Mood.Mood.Mood.

Made cakes last night. Mixer blew up. I cried.

Mood.Mood.Mood.

Went out for Steve Loafs birthday dinner the boy said when I drink wine I am mean to him. FICTION.

Mood.Mood.Mood.Mood.

Brought the cakes to work. They looked like I had been ran over whilst holding them when I got to work to give them to Emma. I cried. I am very disappointed with myself. I'm never carrying cakes on the bus again. The bus driver was a shit and didnt wait til I sat down to move off and it all went wrong from there.

Mood.Mood.Mood.Mood.Mood.

Pictures of cakes later/tomorrow. Pictures of BEFORE bus tragedy. Not after.

Emma said they still looked amazing. I am not sure. Not sure at all.