M.I.A

Yep that's me. Sorry.

I'm down and would rather not discuss it and bring all of yous down so as usual I will keep it to myself.

Someone please buy some cupcakes. I am so poor. I mean so poor I raided my piggy bank and bought a can of diet coke with my last 50p made up of 5p's. All that's left is coppers now. And not even much of that.

I am offering WORLD CUP cupcakes now. 6 for £10. Choose your cupcake and then I will ice the flags of any country you want on top. You know it makes sense...

If you don't buy them you know all I am gonna do is sit at home and cry. My head hurts from all the crying. It'll be all your fault if my head explodes. You hear?!

I am the girl that eats her feelings.

I am a fat mess.

Goodnight. x

Kirstie Lois Holmes

10th Dec 1982 - 6th June 2008

"I thought if I was very quiet, I would hear you. If I was still enough, you might come back"

Sad today....

I have had a bobbins day.

Someone died. And I cried. I cried for him. I cried for his girlfriend. I cried for his family. I cried for his friends. I cried for my memories. I cried for the people that should be here and aren't.

Its hard to put into words because I wasnt close to this boy. But as soon as I heard it was like I was catapulted back to the day I heard about Burt. Just when you learn to push things to the back of your mind and get on.

I wandered about the building at work. In another world really and I had a sob in the garden. I just felt lonely. In total honesty I just wanted the boy or my ma or something. Someone that made me comfortable and safe. To just be there. But noone was so I carried on. As usual. Same old same old. Gulping back tears. Hardcore Bitsy. Thats me.

Later on. Missy at work brought me up a cupcake. First time I'd smiled all day.

Also N-Dubz were signing things at WH Smith on Fosse Park. This is not far from work. But I don't have a car here. So its just that bit too far. So I missed them. Cheers N-Dubz. I am gonna write to you to let you know you could have cheered up my day but you didnt. Just so you know.

Memories....

My best girl's birthday today... 27 eh... gone but never forgotten.

I think I'm only just beginning to realise there ain't no coming back...

Happy Birthday... Love always you twat. xxx

Half day....

... at work and I am now sat on the internet wasting it... Does it count if the suns shining in through the window onto your head?

The song Who Knew by Pink is playing on some variety of music channel on sky... it really makes me think about Burt. To the point where my eyes begin to well a little bit.

"...I'll keep you locked in my head, until we meet again...I won't forget you my friend. What happened.... Time makes it harder I wish I could remember... But I keep your memory. You visit me in my sleep..."

I don't know what old Pink was singing about but it still hits a nerve a bit.

Once upon a time Burt came round with Boo (her little un) to make cakes. Except me and Burt got carried away and tried to take over... Poor old Boo didnt get a look in...

Burt & Boo baking... this photo really doesn't do the pair of them justice. My beautiful girls... I'll find something nice...

Kirstie Lois Holmes...
Such a poser. But the best friend. Such a funny bastard.

And with no further ado...may I introduce the little un... Brodie Scarlett Mimi Boo...

A poser just like her ma.

Shes well into baking... I promise she asks to do it... I dont even have to force her!