Oh hello.... This is my blog. Hooray. Lets start by telling y'all that I'm not very technical so you will have to bear with!
Well my name is Bitsy and I make cupcakes. For me, for you, for anyone! This blog is intended so that I can just ramble on and if you're interested you can join in, hahaha. There'll be pictures (I think!)and general musings. Lets have a laugh shall we. xxx
I am doing this because.... Its something to write about ain't it.
I was losing the will to live blog wise. And I didn't know what to put - no offence - so when I saw this I thought well may as well. Now. I don't know if anyone actually even frickin looks at it as it may be as boring as watching paint dry but hey, I'm making the effort aren't I.
Thought you could learn some more about me. And I could learn some more about people who are doing it. Haven't even had chance to look though yet. So that makes me the wanker.
But I will.
I thought I may be able to get rid of some of my stress/ anger/ upset whatever there is inside this silly brain of mine.
Who know.....
Lynsey Quincifer Wilkins!!!
Are you reading this?!?! I got your FB message but I only clocked it on my ipod phone as I was leaving the house in a rush and then I forgot and I am trying to get it at work but my phone is a complete pile of dog shit so will not connect to the Internet unless there's a wireless connection I can connect to. So I will look later on and reply!
I will now know if anyone reads this...
Your iPhone says it has free Internet right? Well mine does anyhow... but for some reason it now will no longer connect. Am I supposed to ring Orange? And tell them? Am I being robbed?
I would be quite happy to be snowed into a place for a year if all my friends were there and we ha d a nice supply of food and drink. I can safely say that I would be happy with them without the food and the drink etc but to be fair I don't want to have to sit there and pull straws as to who is gonna eat who first.
Welll.... You're lucky today as my bag is always full of shit. But only the other day did I get so embarrassed of everything flying across the room, like tampons, bits of old tissue, old receipts, hairbands, nail varnishes, manky bits of old eye pencils, coins... you know the gumph... when I tried to find my purse that I actually had a wee tidy up and removed most things I didn't need.
I have about 100 handbags and I swap and change all the time so you can most likely guarantee that; a. If I have lost something I will no doubt find it somewhere in one of 100 handbags. b. If I counted all the loose change from my 100 handbags I would have about £10. and c. I'm the girl to go to for that all important emergency tampon.
But like I say today... You'reOK.
This is all you're getting...
Business Cards.
Roll of Sellotape.
Credit Card Bill.
iPhone .
Extra slim filter tips.
Glasses.
Pot o' Carmex .
Rimmel base coat.
Red rimmel nail varnish.
Benefit lip gloss.
Staedtler fine liner pen.
Car & house keys.
Bar keys.
Purse.
Biro.
Scissors.
Nail file.
Debit card.
Staff discount card.
Work swipe card.
Eyeliner.
Bit of tissue.
Hand cream.
Oh that's quite a lot.
Think its better than the other day when there was all of the above... plus a net book. diary. speakers for said net book. pritt stick. variety of coloured paper. small dog. my grandma. That kind of thing.
I would like to say that as much as I was an asshole when I was growing up... (You know...I think it was around the year 7/8/9 era of school...When basically I didnt want to do much except hang out with my mates and be a dick. And you were a bit strict and in return I was more of an asshole) ... that basically thanks to you... I'm not really that much of an asshole as an adult...
I would like to apologise for...
The time I skived off school... (I think in year 10...) to go with my mates to Tim Chins house and we drank all his mums bacardi neat and then I went back to school to have band practice and I was blatantly drunk and Burt threw up in a bush... when they called you to fetch me because they thought I was on some kind of crack or something (oh just to put you straight... I was not... and I thought Mr Morgan was an a.hole for even making you think that maybe I was).
The time I got stoned with Joe before Christmas dinner and then dropped the wine bottle on my plate and smashed it. Then ate all the Quality Street....
The time I drove into that parked car in the car park at work because I was late and in a rush, and quite blatantly was retarded at parking, and you had to pay for the damage...
For all the instances where as I child it was as if i could puke on demand in all the most inconvenient of places... Entrance to supermarket, entrance to tent on camping holiday, on people, on stairs in our house, in my own bed....
The time I drank the whole bottle of Calpol... (Lets face facts... you'd do it too. Even now. It just tastes. that. good.)
The time I tried to jump from the upstairs window with an umbrella to see if I floated like Mary Poppins...
Yeah I apologise for all that. But funnily enough. We're pretty cool now. I love you, other people love you and my friends love you. Because you really are... just. that. cool.
You have got a trendy bar in this shit hole town and now you have a super cool music venue too.
Mum, the boy loves you more than he loves me. Dad, the boy loves you more than he loves me.
Haaha. And do you know what... I dont even mind. Because thats cool.
I apologise for when I am a grump. Thats mainly to you Sue, because I am the same as Dad so you have to put up with two of us.
I would like to thank you for having me. And being the coolest parents I know. And also for having Joe. Because to be quite fair to you. I think we are the coolest family I know.
Thanks. Yeah.
Cheers Now!
Ps. Thanks for making me like the music I like today.
Bruce Springsteen. Neil Young. Tina Turner. Fairground Attraction. Guns n Roses. Janis Joplin.
Day 22... (late)... What makes you different to everybody else?
I was actually going to do this on the date it was due and I was sat at my laptop at the boy's house whilst he played on his PS3...
I actually said to him... what do you think makes me different to everybody else... and he just sat there and said he couldn't think of anything. So I thought "oh".
Is it wrong to be disappointed (if not a little upset) by that??
I tried to think myself though and I didn't know either. I have always thought I was but I can't tell you why? I suppose if there is someone else out there that goes hyper after dinner on a Sunday... please let me know... once I just lay on the kitchen floor laughing like an idiot. Once I had been out for lunch with the girls and I was lying in the back of the car on the way home with my legs out of the window... yelling at passing cars and pedestrians... that kind of thing.
I also sometimes go a bit mad at home... you know like forward rolls from my bedroom to the bathroom. Mad dancing. Silly voices. That kind of thing.
Maybe I have lost all that? I want to be silly and fun still? Maybe he thinks I am boring.
My name is Charlotte. I am mostly called Char... This is because it is short for it and people are lazy but i like it!
Also... some people call me Bitsy... Mostly people that don't know me but only know me through Facebook where it is my name. So I suppose you cant blame them really.
But that's all. Uninteresting... Bring on tomorrows prompt!
Day 10 - songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
This one was quite difficult I think... As I listen to all sorts... Ok. Lets think...
Happy - Transylvania - Mcfly... Anything by Mcfly! I love them. Actually LOVE THEM.
Sad - Looking back on Today - The Ataris. Why is it that when you feel sad you just listen to stuff that makes you feel a wee bit sadder? A form of self harm? Who knows. This one is pretty and the lyrics are lovely and it just makes me cry harder. Nice one.
Bored - Skid Row (downtown) - Little Shop Of Horrors Soundtrack. I could listen to anything when I am bored... And being as I like singing I will listen to anything to sing along to. Musicals kick ass!
Hyped - Lo Fi Fnk - City. This song just gives me so much energy and I could just dance around all day... The whole album in fact is awesome. Check them out!
Mad - Siberian Kiss - Glassjaw. Actually the whole "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence" album. Its so heavy and lyrical and awesome and amazing. And you can scream it.
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12 - How you found out about blogger and why you have one
Jeeeezzz. I dont even remember it was over a year ago I think now... I remember thinking I wanted to put my cake pictures somewhere and write down bits and bobs and I think I googled blog and this came up. I remember being very proud of myself for having an "area" of the internet that was all mine and it was all nice and special. I remember the feeling and I remember the feelings I had about other things at the time and I remember the house and the smells and all that. How weird. I havent even thought about that. In fact when I read through the old posts I feel sad as things have changed so much since then and some not for the better I dont think. I dont know. I dont like to read the old posts. Nostalgia huh. Sometimes such a bastard.
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Dear Mike,
I know its not your intentions and maybe its mostly me too I dont know. But I am hurting and all I want is for you to make it better. I feel like i have lost you. I have lost the friend I fell in love with. I have lost the guy I care about so much. It seems like yesterday that we hung out all the time sharing laughs and secrets and now a days I feel like a distant memory to you. Thats just around.
I know things have gotten complicated between us and I know it has always been me that has felt more than I should for you. But you have always known that and yet we still got carried away. Maybe I should have been strong enough to say no... but even to this day I cant resist. How could I? End of the day... the way I feel about you and then I get to be so close to you and feel like its just me and you against the world.... Feel wanted... Feel loved.... Even if it is just for the night.
It makes me a glutton for punishment I know. And I guess all in all it is MY fault. I really really should say no. But thats not the issue. The issue is the feeling of you distancing yourself from me and pushing me away.
Being mean to me to make me not want to be around you. Thing is little do you know the more you try to push me away the more I want to fight back.
I just want my friend back. I want the old times. I know things change. But I dont want it to. I want to look for christmas trees with you and I want to cuddle up to you when we watch fireworks. I adore winter with you more than you could ever know and just writing this brings tears to my eyes as I am not sure it will ever be the same.
Thing is I dont understand why. Its ridiculous. I am embarrassed for being so blind and writing it down I can totally see how stupid it sounds... You just want to turn around and say "No Char thats not what I want. Ever." Whereas I cant see it. I just cant see it. I basically see the friends we are/were and the other stuff that goes on and I dont see why we cant put it together and be happy.
That is all.
Please dont push me away. Just talk to me. All my love xxx
Day 15- Put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
Listen - Beyonce The River - Bruce Springsteen You dont have to say you love me - Dusty Springfield Summer Rain - Belinda Carlisle I slept with someone in Fall Out Boy and all I got was this stupid song written about me - Fall Out Boy I dont care - Shakespeares Sister I see You, You see me - The Magic Numbers Screamager - Therapy? Raintown - Deacon Blue Objects in the rearview Mirror - Meatloaf
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
i always wanted to swap lives with Brigitte Marquardt from Girls of the Playboy Mansion. Just because she was soooo lovely and so pretty and so nice and lived in the Playboy Mansion!!! I always got the impression that anyone that would live in the Playboy Mansion would be a complete whore and not ever someone I could imagine swapping lives with but I think they did pretty good when they aired that programme as it did show a real side to such a glamourous lifestyle. And I am sure that anyone that watched it would know that Bridge is so sweet and you almost automatically fall in love with her. So her.
Or Frankie Sandford from the Saturdays... why? because a. shes double hot and b. goes out with Dougie from Mcfly and I would totally like to be in his bed.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Right now... nothing. I have no inspiration. sorry. I know thats not what you are supposed to say.
The other day I nearly crashed the car. Head on collision at 70mph. And all I could think was I couldnt kill Kam... She had only just come back from travelling. didnt think anything about me. So dont expect any goals/dreams/plans.
Something I have been proud of the past few days...
If you recall ages ago I blogged of my dislike for big cakes here and I believe in the past I have said I will not be making big cakes again... But then my friend Steve Holyoake came about and wanted a big cake for his girlfriend to celebrate their 6 month anniversary. I had seen this and fallen in love with it... So decided to pay homage to The Whisk Kid and recreate.
And after faffing for about 6 hours with swiss meringue buttercream... making enemies with it... whispering obscenities in its ear... I finally got the hang of it and went for it.
And, to be honest, I am proud... and I dont feel sooo bad (only just) about big cakes any more. And this one was rather large.
Ok so ... short term goals this month and whyyyyy.
Continue on Health... Why? To stop being such a fat shit. I started and then I had a mental breakdown and because I have no will power and I am rubbish I ate loads. And I felt guilty but I still couldnt stop. Why is it that even though you know that being such a fat loser is one of the reasons which is making you so depressed and you do realise that if you werent such a fat shit maybe the boy wouldnt be so embarrassed that you still EAT.ALL.THE.FOOD. Im generally disgusting. So yeah to stop eating crap.
To stop smoking. Now I have been very good at that in the past and I am still no way smoking as much as I used to. But I am still having a cheeky few. In my demented brain i think it helps me when I am sad or annoyed or what have you... Im not thick enough to actually think that it does, but at the time is a different matter.
To go on little day trips to places. Work has stopped being so nuts so I am off for the week. I am supposed to be going on little day trips at the start of the week... with Lar... but as I type this she has just text me to say she cant. So what a waste of fucking time this holiday was,
To sort myself out financially. I am rubbish with money and I actually have less than none. Picto is trying to train me to not spend and to budget. He is making me relinquish my debit and credit cards.
To try to let go of the boy. Because it hurts to half have him. How is one supposed to do this when he is your best friend. And how is one to do this when one has the mentality of " I would rather have a little bit than not at all". I really am letting myself down arent i.
Being as I have nowhere to go now... Maybe I will give spring cleaning the house a go. I really want it to be nice and at the moment. Its like a frickin hovel.
I am a smokey Joe. Well here and there but still... its shit and my lungs will collapse and I will die.
Also I am rubbish at moisturising. I go through phases where I do it all the time and I am all peachy... then I forget or something and I am as dry as a bone.
Evening Readers, So its the day where I show a photo of me and my friends... Well it is so hard to choose just one especially as I have so many good friends all of which come and go in different groups and stuff so I saw other people putting a few pics up and I felt like that gave me a green light to do the same!
I hope you likey like... It was really lovely to look through a load of old pics... good for the soul.
I look different in all the pictures hahah. Youll never guess who I am haaa xxx
Top to Bottom...L-R:
Me & Em: Boy, Me, Kam & Darran: Kam & Me: Me & Boy: Irish Mancunian, Picto & Me:
Us Girls: Reuben, Cary, Katy & Me: Homemade boardgames shenanigans:
Alan, Sinead, Laura, Picto, Boy & Me: Girls, Matthew Bateman & Mike Cider:
Lar, Boy, Me & Picto: Zoddy, Katy, Lar & Me: Zoddy, Katy, Lauren, Lar, Briar, Me, Preya & Shivi:
I would like to take this time to describe and discuss what my blog name really means because I wouldnt want you to be left in the dark...
My blog name means I am Bitsy and I make cupcakes. I display them, in picture form, here. Hence... Bitsy's Cupcakery.
Does that come across as sarcastic?
I am in one of those moods.
If you are doing this 30 days things comment and let me know so I can follow and learn all about y'all. xxx
ps. Cupcake pictures to come soon. Sorry its been ages. I am slack... I am sure if you carry on following this 30 days thing at some point it will all come out in a giant flood of sadness and rage and you will understand why I have been so lame.
